Is It OK To Withhold Sex From Your Husband?
Let’s face it ladies, we have all thought about it, maybe even acted on it. But is it biblically ok to do it?
In short, no.
The Bible does not warrant withholding sex from your husband. In fact, the Bible speaks against it. To willfully withhold sex from your husband can actually be quite damaging to your relationship. It can create friction, hurt feelings, hardened hearts and it’s not what God intended for marriage.
Is it ok to withhold sex from your husband?
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In 1 Corinthians 7: 3-5, the Bible tells us “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
This means that under no non-legitimate circumstances should you refuse your husband sex.
I first learned of this scripture in a Beautiful Warrior class I was in that was made for women and strictly dedicated to delving deep into yourself and your walk with the Lord. We went over this scripture in depth, learning why withholding sex was wrong and hurtful.
Personally, I wasn’t one to withhold sex from my husband but I knew women who had. Women can be manipulative and they like to use their bodies as tools for temptation and destruction.
In addition, they like to “punish” their spouses by withholding sex. This is wrong. “Why?,” you might ask.
Let’s get into it.
If you haven’t figured it out by now, men are visual. VERY visual. They are tempted in different ways than women. And one of them is through what they view. That’s just how God made them.
So, keeping this in mind, what do you think might happen if your husband is denied access to your beautiful body? Do you think that he might be weakened to look elsewhere?
Absolutely. Nobody’s perfect. And no, this isn’t implying that your spouse is going to go out and cheat on you. I’m just making a point. Every one gets tempted and the enemy is always at work. No one is immune to temptation but we can over come it.
Honestly, as a wife, I consider it part of my wifely duty. Pleasing my husband is something I strive to do and I feel in doing so, I honor God.
there is an agreed upon time to refrain from sexual relations
As stated in the scripture above, there is a time that no sex in a marriage is acceptable. This is when a husband and wife decide together to commit themselves to the Lord for a time of fasting and prayer. It is an agreed upon length of time for the couple to stop having sex.
There are many reasons why a couple might partake in this practice. They might want to strengthen their marriage by calling upon God. They might want to fast and pray for their finances. They might be trying to have a child or they might want to use this time to strengthen themselves in the Lord.
The list goes on and on but what you need to remember is that this, and only this, is an appropriate time to abstain from having sex from your husband. Of course, there are times due to illness or the like that may warrant a break from having sexual relations.
A marriage is made of two people who fell in love and wanted to start a life together. This covenant is sacred and should be impenetrable. The only way to do this is to stick together and when you try to manipulate your husband by denying him something that is hugely a part of his genetic make-up, which is sex, then you’re destroying one of the most beautiful pieces that make up a marriage.
When a couple comes together intimately and sexually in the eyes of God, it is a healthy and pleasing thing. A marriage that has been anointed and unified can accomplish great things for the kingdom. That is one reason why Satan attacks marriages so strongly.
He knows if he can break apart a couple they will be useless for God’s kingdom.
Sex was created by God to be pleasurable and satisfying.
I know you don’t always feel like it. I know you’re tired from running errands all day, working, or taking care of the kids. But this is when you have to draw strength from God. Take a few minutes to go in the bathroom to “freshen up” and pray.
I’m sure there are times when our husbands don’t want to either.
What can you do?
Ask God to give you the energy to please your spouse. Ask God to help you say the right words and anoint you to be a beacon and safe haven for your husband. By taking a few moments to collect yourself, you will find that your marriage will be blessed and protected.
As a woman, you do have power but you can’t abuse it. Our husbands love us and love to take of us but we need to treat them right and return the love. Part of marriage is sacrifice and honor. It is during these times when neither parties feel like it that a marriage can actually be strengthened.
It’s important to remember that we were made to be compliments to our husbands. We are encouragers and helpers with special giftings given by God. We must spend time in prayer to discover these giftings and as we do so, we draw closer to God which results in becoming more in tune with our husband’s.
Put God First In Your Marriage
By putting God first in your marriage, you will learn to meet your husband’s needs needs before they become needs. Take some time to read Proverbs 31 and learn why being a Proverbs 31 woman is something you should strive to be. Furthermore, fulfilling and meeting your husband’s needs allow him to feel important and special.
is it ok to withhold sex from your husband?
I know this is a question and conversation that comes up a lot in various women’s circles. I hope I have helped and enlightened you to the proper and appropriate times when abstinence in a marriage is acceptable as well as helped you realized that it can actual be harmful to withhold sex.
Have a blessed day.
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